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Dealing with a difficult diagnosis

Remaining optomistic while finding her strength

By Courtney Conover wasn’t talking at this point but I
Natalie McCurry Rhaesa, 50, is know he knew me he squeezed my
the baby of the McCurry family, but hand a few times,” Rhaesa remem-
that’s not her only distinguishing bers. “My sister had picked up my
characteristic. mom and I met them at the funeral
“My four siblings all have names home and we helped our mom make
that start with D—Donna, Donald, the arrangements.” Then Rhaesa’s
Jr. (who goes by Jim), Dianna, and sister took their mother to the hos-
Doug—and then there’s me,” says pice facility to visit their dad and to
Rhaesa. “I was supposed to be be there when they did Military Hon-
Denise—that’s the name my mother ors for Donald.
picked out for me, but my father On February 1, 2022, Donald
named me after Natalie Wood, the ac- passed away at the age of 88.
tress.” “He passed away two hours after
The day that Rhaesa was inter- the arrangements were made,” says
viewed for this profile arrived on the Rhaesa. “My sister called me [to
heels of her fifth chemotherapy treat- relay the news], and I could tell. I
ment—a total of six have been sched- knew.” Rhaesa was at home when
uled for her. she got the news and her husband
To say that Rhaesa’s life has been drove her to the hospice. Because of
turned upside down since her cancer COVID, Rhaesa had to view her fa-
diagnosis this spring would be an un- ther from an outside window stand-
derstatement. But truth be told, she ing in the snow with her siblings,
had been juggling quite a few balls in in-laws, nieces and nephews.
the air for a while now… Furthermore, in what can only be
While Rhaesa’s mother, Lois, was described as deeply sad and unfortu-
Christmas shopping at the mall in nate timing, Rhaesa’s father-in-law,
mid-December, she fell and broke Natalie Rhaesa at her last chemotherapy treatment on August 16, 2022 pictured John Allen Rhaesa, who had been
her hip. Meanwhile, across town, battling Parkinson’s, was taken off
Rhaesa and her husband, John, with her husband Mayor John Rhaesa. Photo by Lois McCurry life support just two days later and
were in the process of trying to pur- what we would have done without of nearly 12 days, which presented passed at the age of 81. “We got a
chase a new hospital bed for him.” Rhaesa’s two brothers also the siblings with the precarious chal- call early Thursday morning (Febru-
Rhaesa’s father, Donald, who had took turns staying and helping out lenge of how to divvy up care for ary 3rd) from the hospital and they
been ill and wheelchair-bound since with their father. their parents. “Now that so many of thought that the family should come
2019 due to kidney failure. While Lois remained in a rehabil- us were sick, my brother-in-law con- up to the hospital. John left and I
Rhaesa and her husband headed itation center, Rhaesa and her sib- tinued to stay on 24/7 and now care stayed home sleeping, tired from
straight to the mall and followed the lings took turns bringing groceries for both of our parents since mom grieving the loss of my own father,”
ambulance to the hospital where and dinners to their father’s house was on a walker and had limita- says Rhaesa. “Then I got a call a few
Rhaesa remained with her mother and visiting. tions,” recalls Rhaesa. “At this point hours later, it was John telling me
until her sister could relieve her. But things went from bad to my brother-in-law had already been they took his dad off life support and
Ironically, Rhaesa and her husband worse: Donald’s health declined even at my parent’s house for 24 consecu- he was gone.”
were scheduled to receive their vac- further—Rhaesa suspected her dad tive days.” Amid all of the above, Rhaesa
cination booster shots that very had a UTI and called for an ambu- On a Sunday, January 30th, Don- had been enduring what she charac-
same evening. But Rhaesa did re- lance and he was taken to the hospi- ald was admitted into hospice. terizes as “episodes.”
turn to the hospital afterward to stay tal. Shortly after her father left, COVID was not making things easy “It was the week of Christmas
the night with her mother. Surgery Rhaesa started to feel a little under on the family because only two visi- when I first started having what I
was scheduled the next day. the weather, too. “After my dad was tors were allowed per day and there thought was an ovarian cyst rup-
“It was kind of a bad time be- taken to the hospital, I got this dizzy were five children plus his wife. ture,” Rhaesa recalls. She had expe-
cause, now, mom was hospitalized spell,” Rhaesa remembers. “And “Each of us took turns staying with rienced them over the past 15 years
and going to rehab, and my dad then, my throat was scratchy.” our dad at hospice, he was not alone and had come to recognize the symp-
needs 24-hour care,” she said. Although she didn’t know it at the for a single minute,” says Rhaesa. toms.
Rhaesa and her sisters helped their time, Rhaesa had contracted COVID. Sensing that their father’s demise In fact, Rhaesa had consulted her
mother through her medical ordeal, She believes she got it from visiting was imminent, the siblings had family doctor in January because get-
while Rhaesa’s brother-in-law her mother, father-in-law and senior begun the process of making funeral ting an appointment with her gyne-
stepped in to be the caregiver for friend who were all in different arrangements. “I had spent quite a cologist seemed impossible. “I knew
their father. “It was such a huge re- rehab/nursing facilities. bit of time with my dad on Monday something wasn’t right,” she feared.
lief that we had a family member to Then, Lois tested positive for and my mom was with me. It was a “I asked my family doctor for a pre-
help our dad and stay with him COVID, and then Donald. The virus very special time I held dad’s hand
24/7,” says Rhaesa. “I don’t know tore through the family over a span and fed him chocolate pudding. He See Survivor, page 3
The Wayne Dispatch · September 2022 · 3